12.31.15 Happy New Year

i am a bit emotional about this past year. It's really been quite a journey.

Granted Master and i have been together for over a year, but i feel like today is a celebration of the past year that we have spent with each other. We have been through many ups and downs, but each and every step has been worth it. There have been many more ups than downs. He's removed me from a horrible situation, had me get the tattoo that i've always dreamed of, kept me away from horrible relationships, kept me safe, kept me secured, walked me through every situation that came up, punished me, teased me, played with me and pierced me. i'd do it all again in a split second, as long as i know He is beside me.

i've also met and lost some amazing people along the way. First, my best friend. i've always wanted a soul mate. She's it. We think alike and when we don't it's still okay. i love her to the moon and back. i've met some other great people as well. All fantastic. Some i've lost and it's okay. They were in my life for a reason for the time when life must have known they should be there. i will never forget them. i am grateful for the time i had.

Big changes will happen this year, 2016. Master told me that He will be with me every step of the way, and i am feeling very secure about that. My life is in His hands and i do know no wrong will come to me because He is in charge. He is an absolutely amazing man and Master. i am beyond lucky to be owned by Him.

Happy New Year to all! A year of change is ahead. Thank you to all that have been there for me, and thank you for all that continue to do so. i, also, am grateful for you.....

....most of all for Him. ox.

12.30.15 Job/$

Day started off really bad. Honestly, money and i are not friends. Never were, never will be. i don't manage it properly. Don't get me wrong, i'm not out there shopping like some mad woman or anything like that! Quite the opposite. Life is expensive! Blah.

So anyway, got into a bit of a moment with my dom friend about it. Crazy dumb but whatever.

Spoke with Master and i am to now start finding a new job, in His words, "hardcore". Sucks huge because i have so much time right now to be in constant contact with Him and getting a new job will/might change that. Makes me sad, nervous, scared and concerned. What helped is that Master told me that all will be fine and He will figure things out. A huge relief for me. i love knowing He's in control and will take care of everything. Gives me comfort. i do need Him.

12.29.15 Slow day

Nothing much going on but a bunch of thoughts. i have a lot to do and a lot to plan for in the up and coming year. Took a step towards that today. i need a new job. A better paying job. Very nervous and concerned about it. Master has already told me He will be here for me every step of the way. i'm grateful.

So i've applied for 4 jobs today. See what happens. Not getting my hopes up though. Usually things don't go that easy for me.

i won't see Master for 4 days this week, but i know i'll be okay. i feel really good with us right now. No doubt i should remember this always.

A nipple update............they're itchy. Lol. Good sign of healing. i'm looking forward to that!!! Master has already shown me what He would like to change the jewelry into.

12.28.15 Catch Up

Ok, so back and trying to get back to somewhat of a routine. Master and i had a bit of a normal morning...until He had some weather issues and had to leave work.

But you know what.....yes, i do feel a bit distant and far mentally from Master, but honestly i feel ok. After He gave me confirmation of our existence i was completely ok. Even after He didn't contact me this afternoon when He was home. i. Was. Ok. It's a very refreshing and comforting feeling. i like it. it feels great. i feel settled and secure and safe.

Did some thinking today about the New Year coming up. Some major changes need to happen. With the help of Him and my bff i hope to succeed. i want to succeed. i need to. Not only for me, but others that surround me. Eh, but more on that to come.............

i'm glad we are back to our normal again.................

12.24.15-12.28.15 Holiday

Whoa!

Drove to my sisters, who is 5 hours away, and it was a whirlwind from there. i LITERALLY had not a second to myself, and to be honest, it was perfect.

i messaged Master when i could, but not often. He knew i was ok, but i didn't do my regular routine. It wasn't that i didn't want to, because routine is what i need and crave, but it was because i couldn't. The schedule was hectic, which was good, because my missing Him wasn't so bad. i thought of Him: Every. Single. Second. It was also nice to finally be with family after so many years of not being able to. i truly did enjoy it.

i'm looking forward to talking to Him tomorrow and i pray that He understands.

i do also hope that everyone had a very Merry and i look forward to a New Year.

12.23.15 Dumb question

There is a question that drives me nuts.

i get asked questions. i always answer any question honestly. What annoys me is that the following question is asked...."is that how you would answer if you weren't owned", "would your answer change"?

Um, what?

i'm not going to change my answer. i want to be owned. i am in this relationship because this is what i want. i am not going to leave Master or get out of my relationship with Him because i have/we have put over a year into what we want and how we want it. We've struggled through the hard days and survived. So no, my answers will never change. All of my answers will be honest, but they will be based on my relationship with whom i am owned by. Based on what we follow. Based on what my guidelines are. End of story.

Anywhooooooo, long 5 days ahead without Master. Ah, the holidays. Baa Hum! i know He will contact me if or when He can, but we have much going on in Vanilla World, as understandable. i myself will be traveling to see family. Still miss Him tons. Constantly thinking of Him. Always doing as i am supposed to :)!

Oh, someone hugged me really hard today and holy hannah!!! my nipples are sore.................darn holiday hugs!

12.22.15 Healing

Nipples are sore, but not horrible. Still trying to get used to having them. i really want them to be healed. Patience and i are not really good together. 

i'm dying to have Master touch them. Last night they were super sensitive and i hope they stay that way. Just one finger on them could drive me insane. 

Again, the piercings were for Master. For His birthday. Happy Birthday to Him. i would have done anything He wanted (well actually i always will do anything He wants). i like being modified to be what He wants me to look like and to be. Makes me even more His. And that's what i am.....His. 

....still am not looking forward to the week ahead.......i hate being without contact. i will miss Him terribly. Luckily though i will be busier than i was on Thanksgiving....