It's been an emotional week. i'm exhausted and feeling very lonely.
i've needed confirmation from Master that everything will be okay, as well as needing a physical reminder of Him. He had me wear my plug for a bit this afternoon. It made me feel better, but also made me crave more. He said He'd think about what to do.
So, He wants me to get my nipples pierced so i will have a constant physical reminder of Him. i completely love that idea. To walk around all the day and feel something that He put on me....i need it. i know my tattoo is there, but i don't "feel" it. Although, there is another tattoo that i do want that would be only for Him. i'm hoping to get that one in the beginning of the year.
How else do i feel? Eh. Again, i feel lonely, but just physically. Not mentally. i know He is with me at all times and i know i have friends that are as well. But i need touch and yes, i have been feeling that i need pain. Many forms of pain have been running through my mind. i want the pain to hide the loneliness. It'll pass though. It always does. To be honest, a good play session usually takes me out of it. Where i can go into my dark place.
i'm also doing some research on self bondage. See what happens with that. i'm looking forward to it.
Busy weekend ahead, i'm grateful. i need Monday.
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